Out of the Ashes
by Inflamed
Summary: Personal tragedy strikes Captain John Gage, will he be able to stand tall and continue on!
1. Chapter 1

OUT OF THE ASHES

1983

All Captain John Gage could think of was taking a nice hot shower and climbing into bed when he got home. For the last two weeks, he and his crew had been battling a series of wildfires the likes of which the county of Los Angeles had never seen. Those in charge were calling on the resources of the state, bringing firefighters from as far away as Sacramento and far south of San Diego. The Santa Anas were howling winds of death and destruction and he was bone tired and emotionally spent. Lucky only one of his crew had been slightly injured.

Pulling into his street, he noticed the fire had touched even his small neighborhood; he found traces of burnt roofs, singed front yards and other signs of fire damage. Once near his house, with his car windows open, he smelled the sickening sweet smell of fire destruction; his mouth dropped open driving into his driveway. Getting out of his car he stared at was once his home and haven. Nothing remained but charred timbers and foundation.

He continued to stare at the remains of his home. Being a firefighter he had taken all the necessary precautions, keeping the undergrowth down, making sure there was nothing for twenty feet. However, Santa Anas had a mind of their own, blowing embers from the fires into eaves and attics and quickly destroying the property. Putting his hands on his hips he took in the fire ravaged remains and then noticed his small barn had also been destroyed. His beloved horse was gone too.

John sighed heavily. It seemed natural to end a totally crappy year to begin with; he had lost his bride and best friend and now he had lost everything else. But he was too tried to think or feel anything. Numbed at the sight, his mouth open and his mind blank he stared blinked his eyes a few times, hoping the nightmare would disappear. Gage finally figured out someone was talking to him. Through the haze of his muddled brain he identified his next door neighbor, Al Martini, a retired smoke eater.

"Johnny, you okay?" the old man asked and coughed. "Johnny."

"Hey Al," Johnny replied, his voice devoid of emotion as he continued to look at the remains of his house. Through the few standing timbers he saw two pristine picnic tables, often where he entertained guests along with his barbecue, which also was untouched by the fire.

"So you're finally back huh? How long?" Al put his hands on his friend's shoulder.

"Um, four days," Johnny said recalling the lecture to get lots of sleep since there would be more fires to come.

"That enough time, Johnny?" Al looked at his shocked neighbor.

"Yeah sure, some sleep and something to eat and I'll be good as new," Johnny sighed, thinking of everything of value he had lost in the fire. His paramedic certificate, his commendations, his photos of his family-it was all gone, nothing but ashes and memories now.

"Well, how about some breakfast then?" Martini asked hopefully wondering when the man would break. "Oh, one other thing Johnny, I got your horse over at my place."

Johnny nodded, "thanks I appreciate that. I'll pay you for boarding her." Gage looked at the ground and then at his house. "Yeah, breakfast sounds good; all I could think of was getting home."

"Sure Johnny," Al softly took John's arm and led him to his house. Opening the door, the old smoke eater placed Gage on the couch and looked at him. Gage's brown eyes still had a glazed, shocked look, his mouth was in a frown and he looked utterly lost.

Sitting there, Johnny stared into nothing. All he could see was the charred remnants of his house, a house he had worked hard for and it was gone, gone.

"Let me take off your shoes. You must be dead on your feet. I can remember working them brush fires, man my dogs was tired," Al gently untied Gage's shoes and removed them.

"Yeah, yeah they were-tired I mean," Johnny wrapped his arms around his chest, suddenly feeling cold.

"Here use this," Al placed a brightly colored afghan over the now freezing captain.

"Thanks Al, I really appreciate this," Johnny yawned.

"Well why don't you take a catnap while I make breakfast, huh?" Al squeezed the man's shoulder as he headed toward the kitchen.

"Well, I'll close my eyes for a few minutes, Al. Boy could I use some coffee," Johnny yelled to Al. Before long he smelled the sweet nectar and closed his eyes.

##########

When Johnny opened his eyes again, he found himself prone on the couch staring at the ceiling and it was dark. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up; looking through the big picture window he could see the outlines of what had been his house. The nightmare had been real.

"Hey Johnny, have a good sleep?" Al came in a placed a cup of hot coffee in his hands.

"Yeah, I guess," Johnny shrugged, feeling he might never ever get a good night's sleep again.

"Up for some leftover spaghetti?" Al stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Hell yeah, and your garlic bread and . . ." John's voice trailed off. Martini had made the best spaghetti he had ever tasted, better than engineer Mike Stoker, now Captain. Al took two days to make it and leftover it was even better.

Al came back in the living room. "You can take a shower and I took out some of Chip's old clothes. He's about your size." He spoke proudly of his son, now in college, learning to be a doctor.

"Yeah, with an extra twenty pounds on me," John commented.

"Johnny they're sweats, okay? Besides its just one night," Al laughed.

"Yeah, thanks Al. I'll go get cleaned up," John found his legs shaky and the smoke eater was quickly by his side.

"You okay pal?" Al's concerned eyes took him in.

"Nothing a hot shower and a good meal won't fix. Thanks again," Johnny made his way to the bathroom and took a nice long hot shower. Finding the sweats he pulled them on over just his underwear and realized this had been his only pair.

Walking back into the living room he found the baseball game was on the TV and Al had set the table. Garlic and butter filled the room and his stomach grumbled in protest. Yes, a meal would ease some of this trouble. There was a large bowl of spaghetti, a large salad and a plate of garlic bread. Heaven.

By his second plate of spaghetti life was looking better.

"Oh, while you were asleep I called headquarters," Al stated

Johnny choked on his wine. "You did what?" He glared at his friend.

"What? Somebody had to be told, Johnny. You just can't go back to work," Al explained.

Finishing off his wine he looked at Al. "Who did you talk to?"

"Someone named Stanley, seemed to have known you, said to take as much time as you need. Just to let you know all the insurance companies will be at the high school, day after tomorrow," Martini smiled.

"You think of everything don't cha?" Johnny took a few more bites of bread. "Man, I'm beat. I'll call headquarters tomorrow and get things worked out, 'kay?"

"Yeah, 'kay. Good night Johnny," Al watched his tired, exhausted and emotionally spent friend get up from the table. He walked hunched over as he made his way to the guest room.

Crawling into bed, Johnny welcomed the darkness and dreamed of nothing.

###########

Waking up the next morning he looked at the small alarm clock next to the bed and saw it was ten a.m. _God, I could still sleep for a week._ Reluctantly he got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen and started coffee. Johnny went out to the porch and found the paper. Opening it up he found the fires were still front page news, only now it was better as the fires were ninety percent contained.

Drinking the coffee from a big mug, he went to the phone and punched in the numbers.

"Chief Stanley please," Gage turned the paper to the sports page, checking on his beloved Dodgers.

"Hello," Stanley's reassuring voice answered.

"Hey Cap," Gage called.

"John, how the hell are you?" Concern and worry were etched in Stanley's voice.

"As well as can be expected," Johnny stated.

"Well like I told Al you can take as much time as you need, pal. Losing your home has to take a lot out of you," Stanley tried to give him reassurances.

"Well considering the way my year is going, it was just my luck you know," Johnny laughed; otherwise he'd be bawling his head off.

"Well John . . ."

"Anyway I need just a few more days off Cap. Um, I have talk to my insurance company and get the ball rolling." Johnny ran his hand over his tired head.

"Sure John and any help you need, just let me know."

"Cap, a couple other things. Um, who was working this area? You wouldn't happen to know would you?" John asked expectantly not sure whether to punch or thank the firefighters.

His question was met with silence meaning only one thing, of course, story of his fricken' life.

"That's okay Cap and the other thing. This is just between you and me. I don't want the whole department to know about it, 'kay?" _Bad enough I get stood up at the altar, don't want to be more of a laughingstock than I already am._

"Johnny are you sure about that?" Hank's voice strained, trying to talk some sense in his friend.

"Yeah Cap, oh I'm sure it will eventually get around but I want the lid on it for at least a little while, 'kay?" Johnny tried to sound light hearted.

"Sure John. Anyway just call me when you're ready to go back to work and we'll get you taken care of. I'll just say personal emergency, 'kay?" Stanley sighed.

"Sure Cap, thanks again. Bye," Johnny hung up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

OOTA2

Johnny wasn't sure how long he had slept. He opened his red rimmed eyes to find it was ten o'clock in the morning. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he yawned and forced himself out of bed. He put on the sweats once again and noting he would have to do something about clothes soon.

He found coffee waiting and Al reading the paper at the dining room table. Pouring himself a cup, he sat down next to his friend and savored the brew.

"You know for an old guy, you sure make damn good coffee. Can I have the sports page, please?" Johnny held out his hand as the whole paper was given to him. He found comfort in the paper. Doing something so normal wasn't a reminder his life was in ruins.

"About time you woke up. Looks like we're having brunch," Al laughed at his joke and headed towards the kitchen.

The exhausted man, bleary eyed and still shell shocked, read the paper trying to find some semblance of normalcy in his life. First he would get his insurance papers out of his safety deposit box at the bank, and then get some new clothes and then…the list seemed daunting.

Al brought in two plates, loaded with omelets, fresh salsa, fried potatoes, and wheat toast. He came back a minute later with two glasses, one orange juice and one milk, then refreshed Johnny's coffee.

"Eat up, you're going to need your strength," the older man advised still worried over the seemingly cool exterior Johnny had shown.

Finding himself hungry he dug in and finished his plate, juice, milk and coffee in that order.

"Oh I found some more of Chip's clothes from when he was skinnier, they should fit you. Figure you don't want to look like some refugee," Al smiled and looked at the dark circles under his friend's eyes.

"I'll try them on, can't guarantee I wear them Al. But thanks, and you're right—I got a lot to do today. Thanks for the great brunch. Think you should have been a chef." Johnny patted the man on his back and headed towards the bedroom.

Once clean and changed, Johnny headed towards his car and maybe a start to get his life together. Glancing in the rear view mirror of his Rover, he frowned and pushed his feelings down. It wasn't going to help if he cried or got angry. His house was gone and he would just have to live with it.

Driving to his bank, he wondered if he had left the right policy in the safe deposit box. He updated his policy every year, taking his agent's directives to the letter; as property values increased so did his policy.

Gage was surprised how well Chip's clothes fit, but he still needed something of his own. Pulling into the bank parking lot, he smiled; knowing if he smiled it might just make it to his heart and maybe lighten his mood.

Walking in he saw a long line and stood there, hearing bits and pieces of conversation knowing others were in the same boat as he was. Fire was both beautiful and destructive. When camping he could always enjoy the heat and beauty from a roaring fire. Funny he hadn't gone camping since…since the day he got stood up at the altar.

Pushing his thoughts down, he made his way to the counter and his safety deposit box. Finding his paperwork, he looked at the other things in his safety deposit box. The engagement and wedding ring, some of his mother's jewelry and some paramedic photos he couldn't bear to throw out or look at. Shutting the box he headed out of the bank and to his car.

Driving to the mall, he knew just what he needed, some clothes of his own, shoes and the like so he would have something of his own. Frankly he was a little old for hand me downs. Pulling into the parking lot he headed into Sears and was happy to find a sale going on. Buying jeans, shirts, t-shirts, boxers, and even some new shoes he felt a little lighter and knew things would work out. Yes, things had to get better.

#######

Johnny woke up more refreshed knowing he would be seeing his insurance company today. The sun had barely begun to rise as he stretched and smelled coffee. HE smiled knowing Al knew he'd ready for action. Taking a shower then putting on his new clothes, he suddenly felt better.

Saying bye to his host he jumped into the Rover and headed to the school gymnasium with a stop at the donut shop. He got a cup of coffee and a few donuts, pulling into the school parking lot he found a long line of people waiting to get in. Eight am now seemed too late. Sighing, he parked and found his way to the end of the line, wishing he had grabbed a paper too, his insurance papers were tucked in the front pocket of his shirt and suddenly life became complicated again.

Giving into the inevitable the fire captain ate his breakfast and listened to the conversations around him.

"It was just horrible," one woman sobbed. "I watched my house burn down in front of my eyes."

"Thankfully we packed up the photos and things we couldn't leave and got out just as the fire jumped the hill."

"Thankfully he only had minor burns; I don't know what I'm going to do."

"The kids were over at their aunt's house. We're staying there right now."

Johnny found a trash can as the line moved a few feet and he tuned out the people around him. They invaded his thoughts and made his wounds open up again. Damn it, he was a firefighter he was better than this. Just closing his eyes for a second, the first look at what was left of his house took his breath away. Feeling his heart race, he took deep cleansing breaths to calm himself down.

Waiting in line four hours he finally made it into the gymnasium and saw his insurance carrier and waited in another line. The hour waiting seemed even longer than waiting outside. The gym felt like an ice locker and he wished he had brought a jacket. Finally he was motioned to a desk and an agent.

"Have a seat?" The woman looked up at him. She looked tired and harassed.

"Um, John Gage," He sat down and took out his policy. "There you go," he grinned hoping to get his life back.

"Thank you for bringing your policy Mr. Gage; you make life easier." She took the policy, looked at it and then seemed to pull out a lot of paperwork. "We had a list of the damaged homes so I think I have everything we need right here. Now if you'll give me a few minutes."

"Sure why not?" Johnny grinned, his life was an utter disaster what was a few lousy minutes.

He could hear people talking around him but he didn't really hear it. His future lie in the paperwork this agent had in her hands. Looking he saw her work a calculator and then she turned to him.

"Well Mr. Gage I have some good news," she smiled.

"Well I could really use some," the captain tried to maintain.

"The good news is your mortgage is paid off," the woman smiled and Johnny knew it was the case. He had specifically made it a clause in his policy.

"Thanks, anything else?" his brown eyes pierced the agent looking for more good news.

"Well," the agent sounded up. "Now you understand this is just a rough estimate," she smiled again, "This is what's left over of your policy to rebuild your house."

Gage looked at the number and gasped. "Seriously? You expect me to rebuild my house with that amount?" His voice went higher than he wanted. "I can't even build a quarter of my house."

"Like I said Mr. Gage this is just a preliminary amount and…"

"You don't understand! I did everything my agent told me. I knew property values; I did everything I was supposed to." Johnny tried to make it clear to the agent. He had done everything right, damn it, and he still lost. He pounded his fist on the over worn metal desk.

"Mr. Gage I'm sure you'll manage. I hear the SBA is offering loans and…" she seemed to be pleading with him. "Here's my card. Can I still reach you at your fire station?"

Johnny nodded, still in shock about the recent developments. He should throw in the towel now, his life was a quagmire and he wouldn't ever crawl out. She handed him her card and he numbly left the noisy gym.

Once in his car, he cranked up the stereo and started to laugh. First it was a small giggle, then slowly expanded and by the time he had finished he couldn't breath and had tears running down his face. Wiping the tears from his face he saw the line hadn't changed and the sun was setting. Sighing, he decided to head back to Al's place and think of what he had to do.

Pulling his Rover into the driveway, the empty lot next door was a painful reminder; he opened the car door and got out. The emptiness and the remains of his house drew him to inspect it further. Hoping against hope he found himself pawing through the ashes, burned timbers and the cracked foundation looking for something of what was his life. It was dark when he finished and he had found nothing.

"Hey Johnny," Al lightly tapped his friend's shoulder. "Hungry?"

Johnny nodded and followed Al back to his house resigned to go back to work, since it seemed it was all he had.

#######

The men of Station 58 were glad their temporary captain was in his office doing paperwork. Each of the men had terrible thoughts of how much longer they could stand this captain.

"So Chuck, what have you heard from Manny?" Firefighter/Paramedic George Diaz looked at the engineer. He was a large burley man on the inside he was a furry bunny. Those brown eyes expressed every single emotion inside except when the tones went off then he was a very serious paramedic

Chuck looked intently at his fellow shift mate. "What do you mean by that?" He didn't like that everyone knew he was friends with Firefighter/Paramedic Manny Rodgers. Manny was the paramedic over at Station 127, a-shift of Captain Roy DeSoto.

"You know what I mean," Diaz hissed. "What did Manny say?" George gave Chuck a knowing look. "Like what happened to the Cap."

"Hey guys," Firefighter/Paramedic Dave Adams turned to his sometimes irritating and always annoying partner. "It's none of our business." He was thin, had bright red hair, freckles and deep green eyes. The jokester of the shift he knew everything, or so he thought.

"Yeah easy for you to say," Firefighter Mark Hopkins looked at Adams. "You didn't get latrine duty before the fires." Mark stared intently at Adams since he gotten into trouble for Adams little trick.

"Well not my fault you got the captain and not me," Firefighter Jake Elwood looked at his shift mates. Oh he knew it was something grim since the cap had hit a very rough spot for the last year. But they didn't know he was friends with Engineer Luke Hanna at 127. They were boots together and he liked keeping his private life private. Luke had told him what happened; he just didn't want to believe it.

#######

Driving back home or rather Al's home Johnny realized he couldn't do anything. He was screwed all the way around and he should just get used to it. His house, well the property he could sell, maybe buy himself a condo and sell his horse or maybe board it. Too many thoughts were running through his head and he was ready to go back to work. Work would save him; it always did.

Pulling into driveway he tried not to look at the burnout part of his life but he did and stared at it for a few minutes, pushed all his feelings down and went into the house. Once in his borrowed bedroom he made the call.

"Chief? John Gage, yes I'm ready to go back to work," he tried to muster some enthusiasm.

"Are you sure, John?" Stanley wasn't sure his captain was.

"Yeah Chief I'm ready really," Johnny tried to convince himself.

"All righty then pal. See you next shift, expect me," Stanley warned the former paramedic.

"Sure Cap, we'll make sure we have some decent coffee," Johnny grinned.

"Goodnight John," Stanley smiled before hanging up.

"Night Chief," Johnny hung up the phone and stood there for a few moments willing the emptiness in the pit of his stomach go away.


	3. Chapter 3

OOA3

Johnny pulled his car into the backyard of his station, looking forward to some normalcy. He had read somewhere to wait a year when something major happened to you before making a serious decision. Well he didn't have a year, and he'd be damned to live in Al's house and take advantage of his hospitality.

Slamming the door, he made his way to the kitchen for some coffee before his usual check, only he found himself an hour earlier than normal. The bay was empty. _Just as __well,_ he thought to himself, _not really in a sociable mood anyway._ He found the coffee maker and got it going. Once in the office he looked at department memos he missed and other sundry items which were the bane of captains everywhere.

Hearing the bay doors opened he waited until both squad and engine were completely stopped. All six men were covered in soot and looked exhausted.

"Welcome back to hell," Captain James Ray looked at his counterpart. He had deep brown hair with flecks of gray throughout. Being the same height as John he could look him straight in the eyes with his blue orbs. Burly, he reminded Johnny of Roy.

"I think I've already been and back," Johnny smiled and watched as the men laughed.

"All right guys, get cleaned up. Do I smell coffee?" Ray looked at Gage.

"Yeah, made some coffee, I shoulda brought some donuts too," Johnny leaned against the wall and tried to maintain his calm.

"So let me catch you up on things…" James said as he and Gage walked back to the office. The door closed behind them.

"Johnny, howiz?" James crossed his arms.

"Doing all right, really," Gage tried to convince himself. "Why what have you heard?"

"Nothing Johnny, nothing," Ray raised his hands up in mock surrender. "But I see you've already gone over missed memos and the like. I'm going to get cleaned up and thanks for making the coffee."

Johnny waved him off, hoping his paperwork would relieve him of his now oncoming headache. Luckily his crew came in on time without any issues.

"Morin," Gage said to his crew.

"Mornin Cap."

"Morin."

The rest of the shift chimed in but it didn't get past him something was up. All the men shifted uncomfortably as Gage stared at his men.

"Something wrong there guys?" Cap crossed his arms.

"Uh nothing really," Diaz offered.

"Um, just your replacement sucked is all," Adams volunteered and laughed nervously.

"Who was it?" Johnny put his hands on his hips.

"Brice!" all the men said simultaneously.

"Sorry guys. I had the privilege of working with him when I was a paramedic. But let me tell you sometime about a guy named Hookradier." Johnny grinned.

Once the station business was taken care of Gage headed back to the office and sat down at his desk. He was praying for a run, any run to get his mind off his troubles. Searching through a drawer he picked up two small framed photos. The first one was of him and Roy in front of the squad, 51. God, they looked so young and innocent back then. He ran his hand over the photo and then shoved it back into the drawer. The second photo was taken at headquarters after their Captain's ceremony. They smiled, but both knew they were scared. Captain, the word held a lot of responsibility. Sighing the tones sounded off, sending his station on the first run of the day.

Johnny's shift seemed to be endless, but it was just what he needed. Falling asleep the minute his head hit the pillow he felt good somehow. However, it was the morning he dreaded.

Driving home, he saw his house in ruins, and so was his life. Every time he looked at the burned-out ruins of his home it brought up painful memories he had pushed down.

Parking his car, he found his mail waiting for him. Sitting at the dining room table he looked at his mail. The insurance company was efficient if nothing else. He tore open the envelope and a check fluttered out. Picking it up, he saw it was a little bit more than what the insurance agent said, but still not enough to rebuild his house. Sighing he pulled out his wallet and stuffed the check into to it. Running his hands over his face, he found himself exhausted.

Waving bye to his host, he went to his bedroom, stripped and again fell into a fitful sleep.

#######

Their captain's silence didn't go unnoticed by his crew. Cap'n Gage could now be found in his office, door closed and on the phone.

John hung up the phone and sighed. So far every contractor he called was just out of his league and costs, it seemed like he would have to sell the land, buy a condo and give up riding. His dreams were ashes, only he wasn't about to admit it yet.

Tones sounded sending his crew on a structure fire, another family losing their home and deepening Gage's funk. That night he decided he had to move on.

Eating breakfast at a diner not far from the station, Johnny checked through the classifieds, looking for a furnished apartment to live in until he found a more suitable place. He knew Al wouldn't like it, but he couldn't stand to look at the ruins of his house any more.

#######

Johnny was feeling better after signing the lease; he was moving forward instead of stuck in the past. He would have a furnished apartment where he didn't have to look at the ruins of his house. He planned on working as much OT as he could and maybe, he would find another condo or house, someday. But that was in the future for now.

"Johnny, what the hell are you doing?" Al stood hands on hips, nose flared as Gage packed up the few belongings he had.

"What does it look like I'm doing Al? I'm moving. I got myself a place is all," the fire captain packed the last few clothes in the new suitcases he had purchased.

"Where, in some dingy apartment? Look Johnny you don't want to live there again. I can remember when you first moved here, how quiet it was and no noisy neighbors—you don't want that again," Al tried to talk his friend out of leaving.

"No Al I have to do this, I can't stand to come home to…I just can't. I checked it out Al. It isn't a dump, 'kay. It's a quiet complex. I just need some time alone okay," Johnny picked up his suitcases. "Thanks again Al. I really appreciate all you've done for me. I plan on boarding the horse once I check out some local stables."

Al followed Johnny out thinking he was making a mistake. Things were moving much too fast and in his opinion his friend should have waited.


	4. Chapter 4

OOA4

For some reason moving into the apartment made Johnny feel better. He no longer had to look out at the burnt out remains of his house or his life. Thoughts of Roy DeSoto intruded every so often, again a reminder of his many failures.

Gage had reported his change of address and phone number to headquarters also making sure Al had all the necessary information. Al had grumbled on the phone, but he was happy for him, or so he thought.

Reporting to his station after his move, Johnny felt a weight had been lifted until the two a.m. warehouse fire. His engineer driving to the scene along with other engine companies forced Johnny to reign in his emotions.

Johnny quickly settled down into his new apartment. It seemed quiet at first and took quite some time to get used to the small rooms with no yard. But he requested OT and he was trying to find ways to fill his time.

Going into his station he heard murmurs in the locker room. They were no doubt wondering about his state of mind. He knew two of his men were friends with DeSoto's and he rubbed his hand through his hair. That was one problem he just couldn't solve or even approach, no matter how he tried to frame it he knew Roy was sure to punch him out.

"Roll call in five," he called into the locker room ending the chatter.

His men looked worse for wear. They were worried for him, but he didn't have the heart to say anything. Not that they could do anything for him.

"All right, we have some hydrants to check and some inspections. Diaz, Adams you have fire inspections and dorms and dayroom. Adams and Hopkins hose and Elwood cook. Make it something decent, we don't want to end up at Rampart. The rest of you just don't get in my way. Dismissed," Gage turned and headed for the sanctuary of his office.

His men looked at his back as he left and shut the door behind him. Each man nodded and they quickly went to the safety of the yard.

"You guys have to got to spill, what the hell is wrong with the cap?" Three sets of eyes looked at Elwood and Hanna.

Both men looked at each other and then glanced towards the station.

"It ...we can't ...cap has to tell us."

"Well I know what it was," Adams proclaimed. "Cap's house got burned down. It was in the Times section of the fires. His fucking house burned down, just another day in paradise, huh."

All the men turned somber.

"Man that just ain't fair," Hanna shook his head. "It was a real bad scene you know. DeSoto kinda lost it."

"Well about fucking time don't ya think," Diaz hissed. "We all thought DeSoto was Cap's best friend until he shit on him at his wedding."

"Hey cool off," Adams looked at his partner. "We don't know everything, you know. They cleared that church so fast, besides we just heard the shouting and then saw the DeSoto's leaving."

"Sure," Elwood laughed. "That's why we ain't see hide or hair of DeSoto."

Johnny was well aware of the stillness of his station, too quiet in his estimation. Coming out of his office he didn't hear the usual grunts and groans of his crew, and then he saw them, in a very heated discussion in the yard.

"Gentlemen—and I use the term loosely—why the hell aren't you working?" Gage asked cautiously.

"Um, well."

Tones sounded ending their discussion.

They day was busy, so busy that by the time dinner rolled around Gage still had a pile of paperwork needing his attention.

His engineer brought him a plate filled with dinner.

"Thanks," Johnny took a bite.

"Hey Cap," Hanna tried not to look obvious. "Is everything okay? I mean, hope you don't take this the wrong way, but…"

Johnny looked at the concerned man; he knew his crew knew, how they could not know, if not through the grapevine then through the news.

Sighing he looked at his engineer.

"Look I'm sure you know what happened." Johnny sighed finally able to express himself.

Chuck had a blank look on his face. "Um, well not exactly."

"Look Chuck I know you're trying to be kind. I know of…hell…my house burned down," Gage wiped his hands over his face. "And try to keep the guys from talking about it okay. I mean it's no big deal, kay. Can I count on you?"

Hanna was in shock. No big deal? It was a huge deal.

"Um, sure Cap, whatever you want. Um, we have ice cream for dessert," Chuck smiled knowing it was his captain's favorite.

"Okay, bring me in some. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on," Johnny smiled, really smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

OOA5

Johnny tolerated living in his small furnished apartment. What he wanted was a yard and his horse back, not the cramped patio in the back. The complex was quiet enough and he was far enough from the pool to not hear people in the Jacuzzi late at night.

Though he had settled down into a routine, he found himself often thinking of better times. After a particular hairy run, Johnny went into the office and punched in a number. Rubbing his hand over his tired face he waited.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered.

"Shit," then Gage hung up.

"Hey Cap, you okay?" his engineer asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," John lied. He didn't think he'd ever be okay.

#######

Johnny opened his eyes, wondering if the pounding in his eyes was from the previous lousy shift or the loud booming music from his troublesome new neighbor. His second month in his apartment only confirmed he'd have to move. Getting up, he slipped his jeans on, tucked his keys in his pants and slipped some Vans on and noted it was one a.m. The music slapped him in the face as he stepped out of his apartment.

It was cold and wished he'd put a jacket on. His could see his breath and the fog partially hid the busy street. Gage's hands clenched and unclenched as he walked toward his noisy neighbors. It was a cold reminder of his lost house. Once at the door he knocked. Johnny waited, at what he thought was a respectable interval, and then knocked harder again. Another knock left his knuckles stinging as the door opened and he was hit with the sweet smell of weed, cigarette smoke and other odors he would prefer not to smell.

"Hey man," the long haired man stared at him glassy eyed. "Got our pizza man?"

Johnny's jaws clenched.

"No, I don't have your pizza. Will you turn down your damn music, some of us like to sleep."

Gage shook his head, had he really gotten that old?

"Hey man we're just having some fun," the man laughed but was drowned out by a woman's loud and piercing scream.

Without thinking, Johnny pushed his way through the man and into the apartment. It was littered with various empty plastic cups with stoned people now filled with horror.

A half dressed man with terror in his eyes held a large knife and menaced the guests of the party. Gage knew the look; the man was on acid or something. He looked for someone who wasn't stoned; fortunately it didn't take long.

"Hey," he whispered to the woman. "Call 9-1-1 and tell them what's going on."

The woman's look of determination told him he had picked the right person.

The former paramedic approached the drugged out man. "Hey," Johnny said in his most comforting voice. "Why don't you put the knife down?"

The man's blue and bloodshot eyes darted around as he found Gage's voice.

"Get away from me! You demons ain't goin to get me," the man waved the blade really close to Gage as Johnny moved away.

By this time, the crowd of people had disappeared leaving him and the madman alone. The room seemed to close in on him, or maybe it was the effect of the pungent haze which hung low in the apartment. Haze made the room appear ethereal, or maybe it was just the smoke.

"Listen I'm not going to hurt you," Johnny again tried to calm the man enough to put the weapon down. "What's your name?"

Something seemed to distract the stoned man; Gage looked away for an instant, and then he felt a deep ripping, tearing and pain filled hit his gut. The next thing he knew his vision faded as he looked up at the popcorn ceiling. Sirens, in the distance meant help was on the way, but would it get there in time?

The woman who called came in and rushed towards him.

"Towels, tape," Gage got out as he felt his world turning gray. He looked down at his belly as blood seeped through his fingers.

She returned with dish towels and duct tape. Her face was a mix of concern, worry, and fear.

"Put them here," the injured man pointed to his torn abdomen and she did, "and press down hard."

Her face drained off color and he was afraid the paramedics would have another patient.

"Give me tape," he held out a blood covered hand. Wrong move as he saw the woman move away from him. He could hear her retching and then some comforting voices.

"Cap is that you," Paramedic Brendan Macon looked down on an injured brother.

"Yes," Gage was able to gasp out. "Cut deep, guy on acid, maybe."

"We got him Johnny," Vince's voice cut through his pain filled haze. "Or rather the rest of his friends did. We'll take care of him."

Paramedic Pete Jonas knelt down next to Gage.

"Trying a home remedy there Cap?" Jonas put a BP cuff on him.

"Didn't know if anyone was working tonight, or should I say today?" Johnny winced just from the BP cuff.

Jonas words were garbled as he heard a familiar voice cut through his pain. BRACKETT.

Before long he felt the sting of an IV and finally gave in to the welcoming blackness.

#####

Johnny woke up as his gurney was rushed into a treatment room. His visits had been few and far between since becoming a captain. His fearless crew weren't as accident prone as his old station, 51. The sights and sounds only fueled his pain and fear.

Once in a treatment room, his world became fuzzy again.

News reporter Paula Hughes had just come from visiting her friend, who had given birth. She was on her way out and heard the excitement. She knew that man anywhere.

"Excuse me, but is that Johnny Gage?" Paula turned to the blonde headed head nurse.

"Yes, how do you know him?" Dixie was livid. She was very protective of her former paramedics.

"Um, I'm sure you don't remember me. Paula Hughes, I did a story on Roy DeSoto and John Gage when they were paramedics." Paula smiled hoping to breakdown the nurse's gruff exterior.

Dixie's eyes lit up and then she smiled.

"Oh yes, now I remember," McCall laughed. "The guys went to the opera instead of the football game."

Paula shook her head, still not understanding the joke. Roy told her they had a good time at the opera and helped set up the exhibit for the Firemen's fund.

"Any chance I can see Johnny?" Hughes' gut instinct told her she had another prize winning story on her hands.

"Oh Johnny won't see anybody for a day at least." Dixie shook her head. She had been there at the base station and heard the call, wondering how Johnny had got himself hurt.

"Okay not a problem," Paula smiled at the nurse and walked away, the wheels turning in her head.


	6. Chapter 6

OOA6

Johnny opened his eyes as the sun streamed into his hospital room. It was kinda funny because since he became a captain, he and his crew hardly ever ended up at Rampart.

"Hello there," Dixie came in with his breakfast. She was all smiles and genuinely concerned for her friend.

"Hey Dixie," Johnny carefully sat up only to have Dixie do it for him as she raised his bed.

"Ah, feels so much better, kinda reminds me of," Johnny said wistfully and then stopped; he wouldn't go there, it was the past.

"Oh, like when?" McCall smiled. "You know you haven't been a regular customer for awhile." She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I planned it that way," Johnny picked up the spoon and dived into his 'breakfast'. "I see the food hasn't changed either," he gingerly tested the consistency of the goo.

"Oh well. How have you been?" Dixie leaned closer as Gage ate the oatmeal, or what he thought was oatmeal.

"I'm doing all right, doin' all right," the fire captain tried to convince himself. In fact, he knew he was doing horrible, ending up in the hospital with a knife wound.

"So you were at a party?" Dixie watched as Johnny pushed the oatmeal away and dug into the toast and jam and coffee. She crossed her arms, waiting for the inevitable long winded story to follow.

"Huh?" Gage looked up from his food still not really tasting anything.

"You were at a party and one of the guests got out of hand." Dixie asked her distracted friend, thinking of his penchant for finding trouble.

"No, I live there," John gave up and just pushed his tray away. "My house burned down."

"Hey Johnny," Paula poked her head into the room, catching the last bit of information. Her gut was right; she had a story.

"You remember Paula don't you?" Dixie's voice was a bit brittle.

"How could I forget, she made us famous," Johnny grinned. "Well come on in." He waved her in, anything to distract him from the horrible food. 

Dixie eyed the reporter with suspicion.

"Nice to see you again ," Paula offered her hand. Dixie crossed her arms.

"Well I have to go back to work, Johnny. I'll let you know when you'll be released and …" Dixie turned and was gone.

"There you are Johnny," Al Martini strode purposefully into his room. "I knew nothing good would come of you moving to that stinking apartment! So I canceled your lease and your clothes are back at my house." Al stood next to his bed. "You don't have to worry I fixed up Chip's old room, just like new. Why hello," he smiled finally noticing Johnny's visitor.

Johnny blushed, "This here is my neighbor Al Martini, Al this is…"

"Paula Hughes," Al crossed his arms. "You know Johnny huh?" Al didn't trust her one bit; her stories always got him mad.

"Al, Al c'mon she did a story on me and Roy a couple of years back, you might have seen it," John tried to temper his friends reaction. He was remembering the good times, such as they were.

"Yeah, yeah I seen it. But have you seen her stories lately," Al looked directly at Paula who didn't flinch.

"I have a job to do, just like Johnny here," Paula gave it her best smile and offered her hand which Al refused.

"Anyway, Johnny just let me know when you're sprung since you ain't going nowhere for a couple of weeks. Nice meeting you Paula," Martini was gone.

"You have some interesting friends Johnny," Paula pulled up a chair.

Maybe it was her perfume or her smile or the fact he hadn't really told anyone about the fire but Johnny spilled his guts. Like a good reporter, Paula let it all sink in and she mentally filed it away. Yes, she had a story, a very sad story but not unlike the dozen she had reported on so far.

"Johnny, can I ask you a question?" Paula looked into the sad chocolate brown eyes and Gage's eager to please demeanor.

"Sure, what?" Gage was happy to oblige, anything to take him from his troubles.

"How is the insurance company treating you?" Paula now had taken her notebook out of her large purse. She smiled like a Cheshire cat, knowing what his answer would be.

"Don't get me started Paula. I mean they screwed me royally; I don't even have enough to rebuild my house and believe me I've checked. I musta called every contractor in LA," Johnny sighed heavily and paid careful attention to his fingernails.

"You're not alone Johnny," Paula could see it still hurt him. "That's what I've been covering, you know, people who lost their house and I think it would great if I could do one on you," she smiled.

"What? Because it's ironic and pathetic a firefighter had his house burn down?" He said angrily.

"No, oh no Johnny. There's been doctors, lawyer's, judges, you name it they've lost their houses and I think it would be like a public service coming from you," Paula smiled finding her angle. "Please say yes."

Johnny looked at Paula, she was right, the insurance companies were getting away with murder and he was left holding the bag. So much for the caring BS they had given him.

"Um yeah sure. But not here I mean. I …just not here, you know," Johnny felt some sense of relief finally able to do something with his horror.

"Oh, Johnny that's great," Paula stood up and reached into her bag. "Here's my card; give me a call when you're ready. Johnny you are incredible," she bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "See you later." She waved and Johnny was once again alone.

#######

Johnny waited impatiently in front of Al's house. He was second guessing himself, but he knew it had been the right thing, clearing it first with headquarters.

The TV station van pulled up in front of the house and Gage wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He had dressed casually, hopefully not too casually. He was wearing his hiking boots, jeans and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

Paula hopped out of the passenger side, while her companion opened the van and took out the camera. She walked over to him. He still looked good.

"Good morning Johnny," she smiled hoping to ease his mind. "Relax; you did great the last time."

"Well that was a long time ago, you know," Johnny gave a crooked grin; he had also had Roy DeSoto by his side. No, this time he would have to go it alone.

"So that's it?" Paula pointed to the burned out remains of his house. It looked worse close up, not any different than the other people she had interviewed, but this was different, John Gage had been a paramedic and now captain with a heart. A heart which might find her going to New York.

"Yeah, yeah that's it. My pride and joy," Johnny said sorrowfully. "Al has photos if you want to look at those first."

"Sure, then we can talk about the interview," Paula liked Johnny. She motioned her camera man in. "Johnny this is George."

"George, wasn't he your camera man back then too?" Johnny always recognized a face.

"Yeah, didn't think you'd recognize me," George was genuinely happy.

They walked through the front door. Al had left saying he wanted no part of the interview and said he would be back later. However, he was kind enough to dig out photos from the house during happier times.

John led them into the living room, sat them down, got them some coffee and then pulled out the photos. Most of them were bittersweet as it showed the house in happier times, with his fiancée and the DeSoto's along with the old gang of 51 and both crews of DeSoto's and his station. Keeping his voice calm he proudly told about the house.

"Yeah I redid the kitchen and bathroom with all new tile work, repainted, carpeted and the back yard. Man it was great," Johnny grinned; thankful he only talked to Paula about the house and not the rest of his personal life which was in shambles.

"Wow pretty impressive," Paula admired the fire captain's work. "So let me tell you what I was thinking…"

#######

Johnny stood in front of his house. He hadn't seen it since he had moved and all the emotions he had been keeping in seemed to want to burst out like a wildfire.

"Okay you ready?" Paula smiled at her interviewee.

John nodded and then he started.

"Hi, I'm Los Angeles County Fire Captain John Gage," Johnny pointed his arm behind him, "and this is what's left of my house."

"I worked the fires to come home to this," Johnny still hadn't turned around. "Like thousands of other people I'm faced with replacing what was once my home. My home filled with memories, mementos and all my personal possessions."

"And just like you I had to fight the quagmire of rules with my insurance company. I had thought I had done all the right things, paid my premiums, kept my house safe from fires but boy was I wrong," Johnny was finding it hard to breathe, finally voicing his fears and troubles.

He finally turned around and looked at his house. Suddenly all the emotions came rushing at him. He ran his hand through his air and tried to take a deep breath, he couldn't.

"Can you give me a minute?" Johnny's voice shaky. He tried cleansing breaths, he mind clouded with all the structure fires where he had to face homeless families.

"Sure Johnny," Paula motioned for George to cut the camera.

George nodded but kept it trained on Gage. Looking through the lenses he saw Gage's shoulders drooped, his arms by his side and his head bowed looking at the ground. He could see how much pain Johnny was in. He turned off the camera, letting the man have some private time to deal with his loss.

After what seemed like an eternity, Johnny looked back up and saw nothing had changed. Sighing he turned around and gave a crooked grin.

'Okay I'm ready now," Johnny smiled.

"Okay George you heard the man," Paula smiled.

Johnny started talking again.

#######

Johnny picked at his food. Al had made lasagna but he just wasn't hungry. He hated calling headquarters to tell them he wouldn't be in for another week or so. Stanley understood it wasn't his fault but it didn't help. Working helped him forget the bleakness of his life and hole he was stuck in.

Paula said she would call him when the story aired, he hoped it would do some good. She was still the same woman he recalled years ago. He remembered how Roy hated she was showing the wrong side of firefighters, 'muy macho', Marco called it. Paula was a former athlete and could see where she was coming from; Roy on the other hand took it personal and had them show the other side, the creative side of firefighters. Instead of the promised tickets to the game of year between fierce rivals USC and UCLA, they went to the opera.

Johnny gave a small laugh as he drank his wine.

"What are you so happy about?" Al groused.

"Al, you know what?" Johnny sat his glass down. "You don't know Paula like I do," Gage pressed his hand into his chest. "She's good people, she's on our side."

Martini snorted and then started to clean up. Johnny tried to help but he waved him off.

"You need your rest, you heard the doctor. You shoulda never done the interview, either," Al maintained.

"Whatever you say, Al. I think I'll go to bed and read a bit," Johnny got up, his stomach protesting from the stitches. "Good night."

"Good night."

#######

George sighed as he washed the dishes, why were they stuck with Brice again he really didn't know, was headquarters punishing them for some unknown reason. He preferred Gage's easy going style, not this.

"What?" Diaz looked at his partner.

"Complaining isn't going to change things," Dave dried as they commiserated together.

"Yeah, but it will make me feel better. Besides I'll sure be glad when Cap gets back," the paramedic finished the dishes and headed towards the TV. "Something has to be good on TV."

#######

Captain Roy DeSoto had pulled out the old photograph again as he did paperwork. As he thought about his tenure as a paramedic, he found he couldn't remember a time when Stanley didn't have paperwork. He thought again of when his crew came upon Gage's house, sure it had been a year since he had been there, but he remembered. In fact Johnny invited everyone over for a barbecue shortly after he moved in. The guys from 51, his crew, Gage's crew and some people from Rampart, everyone whom Gage called family.

He sighed heavily; he felt bad about not letting Gage know about his house. Sure he could have left a message at Base Camp, even at his station, but all his options seemed lame, contrite and just plain shitty. How can you tell a guy you worked with for over six years that his house burned down and there wasn't anything you could have done to stop it. Logically he knew the department and the whole state had been pushed to its limits but it still was bad for John. Hell, Gage's whole year sucked all around. A knock on his door brought Roy out of his funk.

"Hey Cap," his engineer poked his head in, "Chow time."

"Uh, thanks," Roy put the small photo back into his desk and slammed it shut. It didn't go unnoticed by his engineer.


	7. Chapter 7

OO7

Paula Hughes looked over the film George had taken with her producer, Bob Hoskins.

"Hey isn't this the paramedic you and George covered a coupla years ago?" Hoskins looked at the footage.

"Yeah, it was, it's kinda sad though," Paula bit her lower lip knowing how much it took Johnny to tell his story.

"Hey now," Hoskins looked at her. "I think we got the makings of a great feature story here. We take the old footage mix it with this and we got ourselves a real winner."

"But I promised Gage he would be with other people," Paula tried to explain to the man.

"Listen Paula, do you want to go to New York or not? Gage is going to be perfect, we'll get the action, drama and heartache all rolled into one. Well?"

Paula looked at her producer and then at the shot of Gage. "I want to go to New York."

"Good girl. Good girl. Let's get crankin'; we can have this on the air by tomorrow's five o'clock news." 

#######

Roy DeSoto went back to his never ending paperwork. At a break he picked up the phone and started to punch in the station's phone number, but halfway through he stopped and hung up the phone. "Face it," Roy said to himself, "you're a coward. There's probably a yellow streak running down your back right now."

#######

Johnny could feel the fire, it was getting closer and closer and his feet were firmly encased in something akin to cement. He saw all of his old shift mates within an arm's length.

"ROY! CHET! MARCO! MIKE! CAP!" he screamed but no one came. Gage clutched at his belly, which was on fire too.

"Arghh," Johnny rolled over landing on the floor.

"Hey, Johnny," the smoke eater came into John's room. "Are…what the hell!" Al found his guest on the floor, face flushed and gripping his stomach.

"Johnny," Al's heart skipped a beat, pulling the blanket off the bed he wrapped it around Gage and reached for the phone.

#######

Paula drummed her fingers on her desk; there wasn't an answer at the Martini residence. She bit her lower lip and knew Johnny would understand what happened to her story, Gage was very forgiving and she was sure he would approve it.

#######

"Hey Doc," Johnny looked into the worried face of Dr. Kent Donaldson. "How am I?" He was having a hard time talking but he thought that was the MS the paramedics had given him. Feeling cold and clammy he knew wasn't good either.

"Why don't you tell me Johnny?" Donaldson palpated his abdomen. The doctor looked worried; after their little incident with 51's finest paramedics he had developed a healthy respect and friendship with both men. He considered them the best paramedics in the field and never again questioned their actions.

"Hurts like hell, worse then when I lost my spleen," Gage again clutched his belly as Al looked on. He closed his eyes and willed the pain to go away. _Man oh man oh man._

"Okay," Kent nodded. "I'm going to get another x-ray and see what's going on. I think we'll have to perform a laparotomy and you'll be stuck in ICU for a few days." He grinned knowing Gage's utter dislike of hospitals.

"ICU, oh man. I hate that place," Johnny breathed trying to stand the intense pain he felt in his body.

"Well you got some infection going on and you're diaphoretic, your pulse is 150, respirations are 20 and shallow and your BP is 150 over 80. I think you know what that means, cause I know you're still a damn good paramedic behind that Captain's title," Kent smiled.

"Oh," Gage grimaced, "guess my crew finked on me huh?" He tried grinning but couldn't.

"Well you didn't do anything you weren't supposed to. Ah about time," Kent said with consternation. "I'll see you in a few minutes the x-ray machine is here."

That was the last thing Johnny heard before giving into the intense pain.

#######

Something was up; Dave Adams felt it and he knew the rest of the guys did too. The phone rang and Brice took it in the office with the door closed and still hadn't come out. It had been a hell of a shift so far and all of their thoughts turned toward John Gage.

Trying not to look inconspicuous all the men were polishing their respective vehicles when Brice came out of the office, solemn faced and shaky.

"Uh, men I have something to tell you," Brice took off his glasses and wiped them before putting them back on. "It's about Captain Gage."

"Oh my God," Chuck Hanna sighed.

"No, you've got it all wrong," Brice thought the men thought Gage was dead. "Gage is in the hospital again. It appears he had peritonitis from his previous knife wound; apparently they missed a tiny sliver of the knife. He's doing well and resting comfortably in ICU with a few rounds of antibiotics. I expect he'll want visitors soon. I suggest you…

Tones sounded, ending the discussion.

#######

For some reason, the pit of Roy's stomach flip flopped. It had been a slow shift and maybe he was just hungry, dinner would be a in a few minutes.

"Hey Cap," Mark Hayes called to his boss, "you might want to see this."

DeSoto came out of his office and into the dayroom, just in time to see the ending of the promos.

**John Gage, former paramedic, now captain with the Los Angeles County Fire Department. He saved lives but can he save his own? Stay tuned as we see what happened to this dedicated firefighter.**

Roy flipped. "What the hell!"

"Hey Cap," Kevin Marble came up. "Um, you know the news. It's nothing; besides it's a half an hour before the 5 o'clock news.

Somehow that didn't make Roy feel any better. Looking at the clock he decided to forgo his paperwork for the moment. He got a cup of coffee, planted himself on the sofa and looked at the TV as dinner was being prepared. Not that it made him feel any better, wondering what sort of mess his former partner and friend had gotten himself into this time.

#######

John Gage hated the hospital. Here he had taken extra precautions to not get sick and the dammed knife struck back. Still in recovery he really hurt. Opening his eyes to slits he could see two IV's, heart monitor and the wary eye of a nurse.

"Hello Mr. Gage. How are you feeling?" She was wearing a mask, so he could assume they were taking precautions to stem infections.

"Oh, I don't know," Gage's voice was harsh from the airway and surgery. "Like a gutted fish."

She patted his head with a cool cloth. "Well, I was told all about you Mr. Gage," then she winked. "You'll be in ICU soon and Doctor Donaldson informed the staff they'd better take care of you or they would hear from him."

"Oh," Johnny tried sitting up only to be pushed down. "I guess Donaldson learned his lessons well from Doc Brackett."

The mysterious nurse nodded. Johnny closed his eyes and let his body rest.

Al was wearing a hole in the waiting room floor. Donaldson was just to damn young to be a doctor for his taste . Donaldson had assured him Gage was fine and was on his way to ICU, but it still didn't make him feel better. He didn't even know if he would be allowed to visit his friend, his condition was listed as guarded. Al felt guilty seeing as he should have checked on Johnny earlier.

#######

Roy cringed as he looked at the TV. The action shots of him and Johnny up on the building made him shiver. Were they ever that young? More shots of the rest of original story shown with his men looking on, then there was a commercial break and a heart rendering rest of the story to come.

Sighing Roy refilled his coffee cup and saw dinner was on hold until after the show. The rest of his crew knew what the rest of the story was, but he waited.

"**Hi I'm Los Angeles Fire Captain John Gage," Johnny said grim faced.**

DeSoto couldn't remember the rest but he needed something to do right now. Going to the office he punched in Gage's station number and waited; he wouldn't hang up this time.

"Fire station 54, Captain Craig Brice speaking. How may I assist you," Brice's irritating voice cut into Roy's guilt.

"Where the hell is Johnny?" Roy's frustration sang out clearly. He was all primed to talk to Gage and he got the know it all book, he had always been surprised the ass had made captain in the first place.

"DeSoto is that you?" Brice knew DeSoto lacked the decorum to be a captain.

"Yes, Craig it's me. Now where the hell is Johnny?" DeSoto was quickly losing his patience with the rule book.

"Gage is at Rampart, with complications from his knife wound and … Hello?"

Roy hung up so fast his hand hurt as he dialed his favorite nursing supervisor and girding his loins for the bashing to come.

"Ms. McCall," her voice answered clear. "Hello?"

"Hey Dixie," Roy tried to sound casual, like it was nothing, but he could all ready feel Dixie's piercing stare through the phone.

"Roy DeSoto," Dixie started to give Roy the dressing down of his life.

"Look Dixie, I don't have time for this...how is Johnny?" Roy's voice was full of concern and worry.

"Well," Dixie softened, "he's in ICU since he doesn't have a spleen, with extra measures taken. No visitors for the time being." The nurse heard silence.

"Um, Dix, when Johnny gets moved to a regular room, do you think he'd see me?" Roy sat down on his chair, fearing the worst.

"Well you know Roy, I know a real friendly nurse that might pave the way for you," Dixie was smiling hoping the two old friends would reconnect again.

"Thanks Dixie, I really appreciate it. Um, could you call me when Gage is up to visitors," Roy was still filled with indecision.

"Yes Roy I'll call you and you be sure to eat crow or humble pie, depending on your choice," Dixie laughed.

"Oh I think I'll have to eat both Dixie," Roy sighed. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome hose jockey," Dixie hung up the phone and smiled.

Roy hung up the headset and hoped his old partner was still the forgiving man he remembered.


	8. Chapter 8

OOA8

Johnny was out of it for two days, no visitors and all his staff wore masks including Dr. Donaldson. By the third day, he was happy to see an unmasked face, Donaldson. The doctor had a smug, contagious smile on his face.

"So how you doing Johnny?" Donaldson had picked up Gage's wrist before looking at his chart. His serious expression belayed a slight smile on his face. Gage was well on the road to recovery.

"Lonely doc. It's really that bad?" Johnny frowned and really wanted company, finally able to come out of his feverish stupor, although he would be glad to get out of the hospital and find out why he was getting special treatment. It was really bugging him to no end.

"Yes it was," Kent frowned, "besides, we have to treat you extra special." The doctor smiled knowingly. After seeing the special on his special patient, Gage had been through a lot and needed some special TLC.

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. "Extra special? Why doc? I'm not anyone special, you know." At least he thought that, he was just a regular Joe trying to do a job.

"Well I'm sure there would be a lot of people who would disagree with you there. Your numbers look good; I think we can move you to a regular room. You won't be able to go home just yet. I want to make sure there is no hint of infection and you're well rested." Donaldson reassured the still ill fire captain, "Seeing as you don't have a spleen we have to be extra cautious."

"Hey doc, don't ya know you can't rest in a hospital? All the times I've been here, I've never gotten rest," Gage frowned and wondered if his life was ever going to get back on track.

"You'll see," Donaldson patted him on the shoulder. "I'll check on you once you've been moved to a regular room."

"Okay doc," Johnny was confused; what the hell was going on with the hospital staff?

#######

Getting settled into a regular room usually was a hassle, but this time the staff treated him extra special. He was transported on a gurney to his dismay, with all his IV's, but there weren't any comments or remarks.

"Are you okay Mr. Gage?" An older nurse helped him into bed. Al had brought pajamas and she helped him change into them, smiling all the while and even humming.

A younger nurse brought his lunch in. She was all smiles and puffed up his pillow, poured him water and spoke quietly to him.

"Mr. Gage, is there anything else I can get you?" Her eyes twinkled and he swore she knew something he didn't.

"Um, no I'm good, but thanks," Johnny smiled. The nurse handed him his meds and then was gone.

Johnny still couldn't figure it out and was too tired to try. He slept most of the time.

#######

The crew of A shift of station 54 were nervous as they walked the hall to their captain's room. Seeing the 'special' on him made them mad and they wondered if Gage knew the truth.

A knock on the door brought Johnny out of his stupor.

"Hey guys," Johnny waved them in, ready for some friendly faces.

"Wassup?" Gage grinned and noted the serious expressions on his men. "Hey I'm okay you know. I'll be out of here in a few days and then be back in a couple of weeks."

"Hey that's great Cap," a few of him men responded.

"Well yeah, so anything you want to tell me?" Johnny watched as his men fidgeted.

"Um, nothing Cap."

"Nothing really."

A few men shook their heads.

Johnny yawned feeling tired.

"Well we'd better go Cap, glad you're doing okay."

Just like that his five men were gone, leaving him to wonder if the world had gone mad.

Gage settled himself in bed, took the remote control and turned on the TV. He wasn't really watching it, but his mind glazed over as he tried not to think of his current homeless situation.

There was a knock on the door and a woman cleared her throat. His favorite nursing supervisor and former head nurse of the ER, Dixie McCall came in with a wicked smile on her face as her deep blue eyes twinkled.

"Hey Dixie, am I glad to see you," Gage breathed a sigh of relief maybe he could get some answers for why Rampart had suddenly gone crazy. "I have a question for you."

"Johnny I have a visitor for you," Dixie came in with Roy staying close to her. Roy made sure to stay right behind her, in case Johnny told him he wasn't welcome.

"Really? Well my crew just left," Gage made himself comfortable. He was happy to see his guys weren't treating him like he was special; frankly it made him uncomfortable.

"Hey Johnny," Roy somehow found his voice as he stepped in front of Dixie. He noticed how pale and withdrawn his former partner and friend was. He made his way to John's bed and stood there, unsure of what else to say or do.

"Hey Roy! Man am I glad to see you," Gage smiled, maybe for the first time he felt it. "Take a seat and thanks Dixie." Dixie winked at him and then disappeared, leaving the two estranged friends alone.

"Man I'm just so surprised Roy, you don't know how many times... Geez Roy I'm damned sorry," Johnny was finally able to clear the air. So many times he had tried to call Roy and had just plain chickened out.

Roy pointed to himself, still a bit confused. "You're sorry? Hell Johnny, my best friend gets stood up at the altar and you're sorry? Look I know I should've have been supportive and I could see the pain and I just…" He couldn't seem to express what he felt; though he had rehearsed all the way to the hospital his words seemed hollow and lame.

"Roy," Johnny held up his hand seeing how much pain and agony he had put his best friend through.

"And then when you made the announcement and telling people to go to the reception since it was paid for, man, I felt for you but I just couldn't help feeling relieved you know…"

"Roy," Johnny again tried to stop his friend. "Roy there's some things…"

"And then when you almost slugged me I knew I crossed the line. But Johnny, I never liked her, I felt she was using you and well I just let you have it and…" Roy threw his hands up and still couldn't find the right words.

"ROY!" Gage held up both his hands finally silencing his friend.

"What?" Roy was so wrapped up in his apology he didn't hear his friend.

"First of all there were some things you didn't know about," Johnny sighed heavily and clasped his hands in his lap, suddenly feeling defeated.

"Oh?" Roy was now curious since Gage seemed awfully contrite when he shouldn't be.

"Well, for one thing we changed the date three times." Gage held up three fingers in disgust, "Oh she had real good reasons, but Roy three times," Johnny shook his head remembering the fights about setting a date and if she really loved him.

"Another thing she insisted on insurance on our honeymoon, I mean who has vacation insurance on their honeymoon except you," Johnny was grinning and Roy blushed.

"I'm just sorry and…" Roy tried not to smile, knowing Gage must have suffered in silence this past year.

"Roy, man, I wasn't mad at you, just her…no, really mad at myself for not seeing it coming. You were right about everything, pally. Right on the nose, but, well, I was just too stupid to see it and then I lashed out on you since you were handy. Man, I'm so sorry and I felt like a heel not calling you back. I just needed some time alone, you know," Johnny looked at his friend and hoped he would understand.

"Well I'm sorry too. You've had a hell of a year," Roy clasped his hands in lap, "and I'm really sorry about your house. I…when I saw it…hell we all saw it. I'm just sorry we got there too late."

"Roy anyway you told me would have been crappy. But I'm glad you're back. Really glad we're friends again. But if you don't mind me asking what, um, got you here," Johnny was a bit curious since the staff had Rampart had been treating him like he was made of glass.

Roy blushed, opened his mouth and then shut it.

"Roy? What is it with everyone? You know something's going on here, I mean it and…Paula!" Johnny wondered why the reporter had shown up.

Paula entered the room tentatively, not sure if her subject would be angry at her. She felt she had made the right decision, but now the back seat of her car was taken up by the consequences of her story.

Roy stood up and then quickly sat down. He tried to remain calm, but her story on Gage really made him mad and sad for his best friend.

"Hey Roy, you remember Paula don't ya?" Gage looked at Paula and then his friend and saw a short burst of anger from Roy. "Um, you want to tell me what's goin on?" He pointed to both Paula and Roy, seeing they shared some secret.

"Paula's story on you brought me here Johnny," Roy looked daggers at the reporter. "Did you tell him?" DeSoto was ready to blast the reporter, but being the gentleman he was he refrained.

"Oh, about that Roy. I tried calling Johnny about the story being aired but I didn't get an answer and…" Paula offered her weak explanation, knowing Johnny was the forgiving sort.

"So you aired the story anyway?" Roy's jaws were clenched. "Well I must have figured you for someone else then." Disappointed was reflected in his blue eyes and Paula frowned.

"Look Roy I had every right to air that story. So there were a few little changes then what Johnny and I discussed…"Paula tried to make Roy understand.

"Um, I'm right here. Want to tell me what the hell is goin on Paula? You said I'd be a short clip with some other 'professionals' who lost their houses to the fire. Right?" Johnny was coming to a slow burn and he knew he wasn't going to like what he was going to hear.

"No, Johnny," Roy stood up and again glared at the reporter, "The whole story was on you. They used the footage from the story on us and then had photos of your house before and how you were this heroic firefighter and …"

"Wait a minute now," Johnny was feeling tenseness in his chest. "The whole story was on me?" he found it hard to breathe and his stomach was in knots.

"Yes, my producer thought it would make a great story and it did. In fact the network picked it up and it was broadcast…but that's not important; the important thing is I have two bags of mail in my car and I'd like to know who to give them to," Paula finally got to her point.

"Two bags?" Johnny showed a grocery sized bag with his hands and Paula shook her head.

"No, like the big post office bags. You see we started getting them the next day and they all have your name on them." Paula smiled hoping to stem John's anger at her.

"Shit! What did you do to Paula?" Johnny could see it now, "I was doing my job Paula, that's all; I never meant…Roy tell her."

But before Roy opened his mouth, Captain Mike Stoker, Engineer Chet Kelly and Engineer Marco Lopez came into the room ending the conversation, for a brief moment.

"Hey guys," Johnny waved knowing both Stoker and Kelly were at 51 and Marco was at 127. "What brings you …"

"Hey Johnny, Paula," Stoker looked over the reporter. "So I guess you're the one to blame."He crossed his arms and counted to ten.

"How many Mike?" Roy bit his lower lip.

"Um, three bags," Stoker looked at his counterpart, "how did you...Paula?"

Gage and DeSoto nodded.

"Hey Roy," Johnny pushed himself further back into pillow. "I think I'm going to be sick." He could feel his heart racing and his stomach churning, he didn't want this type of attention.

"It's okay Johnny," Roy discreetly pressed the call button and then he saw a flash of white. "Wow that was fast...Dixie?" He saw his friend pale.

Dixie walked purposely to Gage. "Johnny are you all right?"

"No Dixie I'm the laughingstock of LA or something like that," Johnny looked dejected.

"Hey," Roy took Gage's shoulder. "They're just saying how proud they are of you. Right Dixie?"

She held up three fingers and Roy's heart skipped a beat.

"It's just getting better and better," Roy mumbled under his breath.

"Hey is this a party." Hank Stanley entered into the now crowded room.

Roy turned around to look at Chief Stanley and knew it had just gotten worse.

"I'll get a doctor Roy," Dixie made a fast exit.

Johnny could hardly find a breath, when the chief showed up it was something bad. He pulled the covers over him and wished he could sink into the floor.

"John?" Hank rushed over to his former paramedic now captain.

"He's real torn up about this Chief. Paula lied to him, big time and now…what the hell did you do?" Roy was seething.

"I'm sorry, I …I'll just leave the bags at the visitors desk," Paula quickly left the tense filled room.

Dr. Kent Donaldson came into his patient's visitor filled room and saw his ashen faced patient, thankful he had two drug filled syringes in his pocket.

"So how do you expect my patient to get any rest?" Kent joked as he quickly took the vitals of his shaken patient. "There are way too many people in this room. I suggest you all leave and give my patient some much needed air." The doctor noted the lack of movement knowing these men, friends and brother firefighters wanted to support John in his hour of need, but there were limitations.

"Hey Doc," Roy noted the young doctor's face and winked, happy to see someone take care of his friend, Johnny had gotten from bad to worse, he gently took Gage's pulse to feel it racing and the man was diaphoretic.

"Roy, I see you two are back in fine form," Kent looked at all John's visitor. "I suggest you all leave and let Johnny get some much needed rest. I think he's had way too much excitement for the time being."

"Not excitement," Johnny forced out, "embarrassment. Damn reporters!"

Roy leaned closer. "Hey Johnny how about I take all that mail to my house and we open it up for you. You have nothing to worry about, okay, just some thank you letters, you'll see."

Johnny nodded as he saw Donaldson inject the syringe in his IV port. "Sure Roy, I got nothing to worry about, nothing at all." His eyes closed as his visitors exited his room.

"Roy," Kent motioned Roy over. "I…all this mail you don't think…" He knew John Gage was a proud man.

Roy noted his friend was sleeping. "I really don't know yet Doc, but cross your fingers. I don't think Johnny can take much more of this."

Kent looked at his sleeping patient. "No I don't think he can either. But before you tell him, let me know, he may need a little help." He smiled letting Roy know he had another friend in his corner.

"All right Doc. I'll hold you to that," DeSoto stepped out of the room into the hallway. "Okay guys meet up at my house. I'll call Joanne and let her know we're coming."

"You can use my phone Roy," Dixie replied. "I'd help you but I have to work…but I have a feeling Johnny is going to need all the friends he can get."

"Yeah I think you're right there Dixie," Roy bit his lower lip and followed the nurse to her office.


	9. Chapter 9

OOA9

Johnny drifted off into a blissful sleep; the drug injected into his IV port made him forget all his troubles for the time being. He had a feeling things would get worse before they got better. He settled deeper into bed, dreaming of nothing.

#######

Roy kept staring at the tally from the mailbags; it just seemed to get worse. If he knew John Gage like he thought he did, he was one proud man. Gage had become a firefighter, paramedic and captain all on his own and was proud of the fact. Looking up he saw the anxious faces of each man, men who had put their lives in John Gage's hand at one time or another, even his crew had fought the beast side by side.

DeSoto could still recall the phone call he had received from his friend.

"_Hey Roy. You're not going to believe this!" Johnny's voice was breathless._

"_What?" Roy wiped his hands over his tired face, the phone call was early even for him._

"_I did it Roy. I got the house I really wanted, big enough for small stable and I won't have to dream about owing a horse. I can afford it now. I'm sure glad I sold you the other house," Johnny was grinning through the phone._

"_I do too Junior, don't know if my marriage would have survived if you hadn't," Roy laughed at the old joke between them._

"_Aww Roy, anyway, as soon as it's ready I'm going to have the biggest, baddest housewarming party ever. Got to go," Johnny hung up._

Roy soon found out what 'ready' meant as he helped Gage get his new house ready. He could see how much love and care his friend had put into the house Then true to this word, Gage did throw the biggest, baddest housewarming party, wondering how he had fit so many people in that small space. Friends, collogues and co-workers showed up along with their families, significant others and just other friends.

The party lasted way into the wee hours of the morning, yet Johnny didn't seem to lose any energy but somehow got imbued with it from his friends. Yes, John Gage knew a lot of people and a lot of people knew John Gage.

"Well how much?" An anxious Chet Kelly looked at Roy.

Roy, his wife and Mike were at the kitchen table, Marco and Chet were at the coffee table, and somewhere along the way they had acquired his and Johnny's crew. His house was close to bursting between the men and mailbags. Empty pizza cartons and empty plastic cups littered the kitchen.

DeSoto sighed heavily, he had added up everyone's tally twice and still wasn't happy with it.

"C'mon Roy, it can't be that bad," Marco sighed too, knowing how much he and Chet had counted, the rest of the men were spread out on the floor. Each had two stacks of mail in front of them. One stack had money and the other didn't. There were mostly cards and letters. Marco knew Gage well too and wasn't happy with the amount of money he and Chet had counted.

"Yeah Cap," Roy's men asked with impatience.

"Okay all right I got an answer for ya!" Roy said, exasperated. A knock on the door ended and it elicited an audible groan from his guests.

"I'll get it babe," Joanne got up and headed towards the door. Their new guest was Hank Stanley with another mail bag along with a grim expression on his face.

"Well Chief," Chet said curelessly, "you're just in time for the big reveal. Ole Roy is gonna tell us how much money John has raked in."

Stanley frowned and looked at Roy. "Raked in? I don't think those would be the terms I would use. So how much?"

Roy sighed again. "Eleven thousand, three hundred sixty six dollars and thirty one cents."

Collective whistles filled the house.

"Oh well, here's another bag and well, headquarters…"

"Hey Gage didn't ask for this," Marco started in. "None of it. He should be able to keep the money."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Guys, guys. Headquarters is all aware of this and believe me we're in a quandary as it is. But there's more. Two building companies called and offered to rebuild John's house at cost. So that goes in the collective mix as it were." Stanley placed his hands on his hips, the new bag of mail at his side.

Roy sighed again. He was right; it was going to get worse before it got better.

#######

Johnny was barely listening to the TV, seething. He had been taken advantage of by a pretty face, just like his almost wedding. He thought he was doing a public service, not being a laughingstock. He didn't want charity; he had seen enough of it at the reservation. Something caught the corner of his eye and then he turned and saw Roy. Roy did not look happy.

"Hey Roy," Johnny tried to muster up some energy.

"Hey Johnny," Roy still couldn't smile.

"That bad, huh?" Johnny felt defeated.

"Um, yeah, the Chief dropped by with another mail bag and…"

Johnny sighed. "Dixie was by earlier. They had another two bags. This has got to stop, Roy, it just has to. I never asked for this and maybe…well, maybe I did," Johnny sighed wishing he had never agreed to the damn interview.

"It's not your fault Johnny," Roy stepped closer to the bed. "Paula broke her promise to you and she should fix things."

"Paula…wait, I think I got an idea," Johnny reached over for the phone.

"What are you doing?" Roy wondered what crazy scheme his friend had dreamed up.

"You'll see. You'll see. I need you to go to Al's place and get me some clothes," Johnny's was wild with hope and excitement.

"Johnny, you're not getting out of here. My God, you're lucky to be alive," Roy shook his head thinking his friend had lost his mind.

"Roy think about it—a news story got me into this mess and a new story is going to get me out of it," Gage was beaming, thinking he had found a solution to his problems.

"All right I just hope you can convince her," Roy waved good bye.

"Oh the Gage charm isn't dead yet Roy. Not in the bit," Johnny rubbed his hands together and laughed wickedly.

"Okay Junior, I'll be back," Roy laughed too as he headed out of the room and to Al's.


	10. Chapter 10

OOA10

Roy came into Johnny's room, with shirts, ties on hangers and a grin. "Well?" Roy asked. They chatted for a few minutes and then the door opened.

Paula came into the room, seeing only Gage and DeSoto.

"All right I'm here," Paula was defensive. She had every right to do the story she wanted; Johnny had signed the release.

"Yeah I'm glad you're here," Roy said, now having some idea of Johnny's plan.

"So here's the deal Paula," Johnny stated without hesitation or reservation. He had gathered his inner strength with Roy returning and all his friends were backing him up.

"Deal? What are you talking about?" Paula was still clueless. She had done her job.

"You got me into this mess and you're going to get me out," Johnny continued. "You understand now?"

"Okay, okay," Paula tried acting contrite. She crossed her arms and resented the fire captain dictating to her what she had to do. It had been her story from the start and not Johnny's.

"Paula, you're going to film me again. I'm going to issue a statement regarding all the kind offers of money and you are going to run it on your station and any other stations that picked up my story. That's the deal," Johnny stated matter-of-fact, hoping his poker face would cover up any securities.

"And what if I don't?" Paula smiled knowing Gage didn't have a pot to piss in, figuratively speaking.

"Then Johnny will call his lawyer," Roy stated looking the reporter in the eye, thankful he had made a phone call when he went to pick up Gage's clothes.

"Lawyer?" Paula asked, now concerned.

"Yeah," Roy could see it was time to play hard ball. "Barney Olsen, you know—best tort lawyer in LA hasn't lost a case yet." He was grinning now, watching the reporter squirm and get her due.

Paula paled. "Barney Olsen is Johnny's lawyer," she gulped fully well knowing Olsen would decimate her, her story and her station.

"Yeah," Roy rocked on his heels, getting more pleasure out of it then his friend. His smug grin was making it hard for John to concentrate, although he liked his friend's bluff.

"Um, so Johnny when did you want to do this thing?" Paula acquiesced knowing she was beat.

"How about two hours? I think that will be how long it takes to arrange things," Johnny surmised thankful he didn't have to put up a bigger fight.

"Okay I'll be back in two hours with my cameraman and a statement by my station manger," Paula quickly exited the hospital room.

Johnny waited a decent interval and looked at Roy.

"That was fricken' incredible Roy. I mean pulling Barney Olsen out of the hat. That was just great; she caved without a fault. Man that was pure genius!" Johnny was grinning wildly. "You called her bluff!"

"It wasn't a bluff Johnny," Roy grinned as he put the clothes on the bed.

Johnny's eyes got wide and he paled.

"You called Barney? After all these years, Roy, man!" Johnny sank back into bed. "I can't afford Barney, hell I can barely afford to have my house rebuild and now I have Barney Olsen as my lawyer."

Johnny shook his head. "Man Roy, how could you do this without telling me? How could you I thought we were friends. Oh man what am I going to do now?"

"Johnny will you calm down!" Roy rushed to Johnny's side. "I told him everything and he was willing to work pro bono."

"Pro bono?" Johnny still couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah pro bono-free," Roy grinned, happy to spring his little surprise on his friend and the reporter.

"I know what it means Roy," Johnny snorted and laughed.

"Well I'm glad to see things are still the same," Roy laughed. "Besides it's a moot point. I don't know what you're worried about anyway."

Johnny looked wounded and then laughed.

"Got to get this show on the road, Roy. I figure we do in the sunroom and then I'll …." Johnny looked to see Dixie coming in with a wheelchair.

"Now hold on one minute!" Johnny knew he was capable of walking.

"I see things haven't changed," Dixie looked at her friend.

"No, Dixie, Johnny is still stubborn as a mule," Roy watched as Johnny sat up, grimaced and then frowned.

"All right, all right. So I'll need the wheelchair. Geez can't a guy get a break around here?" Johnny laughed thankful for all his friends help.

#######

"I'm doing this under protest," Paula proclaimed for the tenth time.

"We heard you the first time," Roy was getting his fill of the reporter. "Just remember Barney Olsen and you'll feel much better."

Paula sighed, looked at Johnny, then Roger. "Okay go!"

#######

Johnny rested in his hospital bed with a self satisfied smug. At least something had gone right, and hopefully the bloody mail would stop. He was thankful Roy became the caretaker of them and he really didn't want to know how much money had been given or what Chief Stanley was so desperate to tell him.

A little while later while his meds were being given Roy showed up with Barney Olsen. Suddenly Johnny didn't feel like eating. Just in time for the five o'clock news. Roy took the remote and clicked on the TV. Johnny didn't protest but his stomach did.

"Hey Roy, um Barney," Johnny felt a loss what to say. He turned crimson and glared at his friend for not telling him of the company he was going to bring back.

"Good seeing you again John," Barney offered his hand and shook it. "Just checking to make sure our reporter is keeping her word. Although I'd love to get her and her TV station in court." Olsen smiled.

"Well, um, Barney I wouldn't I really don't need any more publicity, um you know," Johnny's hands were shaking a bit.

"Not a problem, anyway," Olsen pulled out a card and gave it to him. "You need me for anything you call. Promise?"

Johnny nodded. "I promise and thanks again."

"Not a problem," Barney waved good bye leaving him and Roy.

"Well I'll see you later. Let me know if you need a ride home, kay." Roy grinned happy to have his friend back.

"Sure Roy and thanks for everything and I mean everything. Sorry about the thing with Olsen it's just," Johnny felt silly; he needed all the help he could get.

"It's okay Johnny, you've been through a hell of a lot. Bye." DeSoto waved leaving Gage in silence.

Gage at been staring at his hands when someone coughed.

"Hey Dixie," Johnny seemed a little lost.

"So how did it go?" Dixie came closer looking at her friend.

"Good, real good. I think my worries will be over."

"Really? Johnny you've been through a lot this past year. Anyone would be past their breaking point by now. Let's see you get stood up at the altar, your house burns down and then you get stabbed, quite a triple threat," Dixie patted him on the shoulder.

"What are you getting at Dixie?" John stared into her deep blue eyes.

"It's okay to cry Johnny. You know that don't you?" Dixie smiled and could see Gage was having a harder and harder time to keep it together.

"Didn't you hear Dixie, real men don't eat quiche or cry," Johnny grinned, and took a deep cleansing breath.

"Well I don't think anyone has to find out about it. Dinner is in about an hour and then I think Doctor Donaldson left orders to leave you alone," she squeezed his hand. "Think about it and I'll close the door on my way out." She winked, closed the door and left him alone.

It was a small trickle at first, a few tears, he gingerly wiped away and then he couldn't stop. All his supposed failures and the loss of his house added to his misery. His pajama sleeve was soaked but he felt much better.

A knock on his door brought back his composure. Eating his mystery meat he finished, took his pain pills and then quietly cried himself to sleep. A big weight had suddenly been lifted off his broken heart.


	11. Chapter 11

OOA11

The next morning as the sun shone in Johnny's room he felt much better. Crying seemed to have taken some of the stress and worry off his chest. Although he still didn't have a home he had some really good friends and had almost missed not having any.

Breakfast actually tasted good and he felt he was getting his life in order, that is until Hank Stanley showed up. The seriousness of his superior only clued Johnny as to what was to come. Roy had talked about the 'donations' and what to do with them. He had learned from their rescue of a wealthy hermit what happened to 'gifts' and was ready with a few surprises of his own.

"Hey John," Stanley came over, still dressed in his uniform. Hank's eyes had shadows and Johnny felt bad for him.

"Hey chief, guess you weren't in the neighborhood?" Johnny asked hopefully, knowing full well of the dreaded conversation to come. He thought he had steeled himself for it.

"Well, actually we have some department business to discuss," Hank pulled up a chair and sat down next to John's bed. Stanley clasped his hands in his lap, a sure sign it was bad news.

Johnny turned off the TV and looked at his superior. "Um, really." Breakfast suddenly felt like coming up. Stanley had that serious look he only saw when their rescues were going to be a real bitch and they'd feel it later.

"Well, John, um I saw the news, I mean I saw your PSA. Very well done telling people to send money to the Red Cross, local Fireman's Fund and you looked really good unlike the show you and Roy did. Do you remember when you two did that talk show for fire safety?" Hank shook his head and chuckled. "Why I almost had tears in my eyes until you guys went into action, boy were you and Roy an incredible team," Cap looked into Johnny's worried eyes.

"It's all right Chief, I kinda figured I wouldn't be able to keep the money, not like I ever would, but I'm cool with it, really," John smiled at his former captain and tried to ease the Chief's pain. He tried to sit up straighter showing he was on his way to recovery.

"Um, you are? Seriously? I mean there are now three building companies willing to rebuild your house at cost, God knows how much money is finally going to come in and…" Stanley could just see the headlines.

"Cap, um, I mean Chief, the money's all ready going into the benevolence fund and Rampart, figured to split the money between them both, you know. It's okay, really," John tried to convince himself.

"Are you sure pal?" Stanley noticed the slight smile disappear only to reappear with a hint of hope.

"Yeah, I mean, I got my friends. I'm alive. I got a job I love, everything else is just icing on the cake, you know," Johnny smiled for real this time, because he had meant every single thing he had said. "You know, Chief I haven't been in Rampart since I was a paramedic, I mean as a patient and I got a really good crew just like you did at 51's."

"Yeah you're right there pal, even if you were a bunch of twits and McConkiee called us the loony bin," Stanley remembered those times too as he stood up from his chair and stretched.

"Well you have to admit McConikee did have a point. I mean who else had a captain who had burned his hat. By the way Chief, since we're alone is there anyway you can tell me why you burned his hat? I've wondered about that all these years and…" Johnny whispered and put his hand up to his mouth.

"Oh, I think you'll understand soon enough. But I really should go." Hank looked grateful. "Really no hard feelings, John? I'm sure the money would help and…"

"No I'm good Chief really. I mean I really learned what was important and if I'm lucky I get out tomorrow and that will be good. Then I can start thinking about my next move, you know," Johnny pushed himself further into the pillows, not realizing how tiring 'the conversation' was.

"Okay pal, will call me when you're ready to return to work and I'll try not to let Brice be your replacement for as long as I can. I really wouldn't want your crew to mutiny. Bye" Hank patted Johnny on the shoulder.

"Bye Cap and thanks." Johnny waved as he watched the confused expression from his boss and sight he never got tired off. Before long he was asleep dreaming of happier times.

#####

John was happy finally getting discharged from the hospital, he had been waiting almost an hour for Al and he hadn't shown up. Part of him wanted to call the old man to make sure he was okay, the old smokeater didn't move as fast as he used too.

"Ready to go home," Roy peeked his head into the room. Roy's grin seemed to light up the hospital room.

"Roy? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny waited and looked past Roy." Where's Al?" Johnny looked for Al to somehow magically appear. "Where are you hidin em pally?"

"Um, about that Al's son is home, you know for spring break and…" Roy's hands went up to the air as if to explain everything.

"Dammit, now what am I going to do? I knew it come to this. Man …what…I guess I get a hotel room and…" Johnny continued to whine, not that he meant to.

"You'll do no such thing John Gage," Joanne came in and gave him the sternest mother look she could. Her eye's melting any resolve he had left.

"What? I'm not about to put you guys out. Chip's here and Al doesn't need me to hang around I'll be all right," Johnny tried to convince himself, not really feeling 100%

"Too late Junior," Roy brought up the wheelchair which was placed by the door. "When my wife gives an order it's a high price to pay to disobey it."

"Okay but I don't want to put you guys out. I mean seriously Roy you've done way too much all ready. I mean taking care of all those letters and cards and then calling Barney. I…. Barney… Barney. Can I use your phone when I get settled into your place?" Johnny now had his ace in the hole.

"Um, yeah sure. Mi casa es su casa!" Roy grinned.

A nurse came in with a wheelchair, got her charge situated and all four of them headed out of the hospital room.

###

Once Johnny was settled in the guest room, he took the phone off the night stand, pulled out Barney's card and called.

"Hello this is John Gage. I'd like to speak to Barney Olsen," Johnny said with a smug expression.

"_Just a moment, sir." The secretary said in a sexy voice._

Johnny rubbed his hands together, yes things were looking up.


End file.
